Money is probably a big factor in Divorce (especially when alimony is concern).
Let me say that my ex wife did not ask for alimony or half of the community property. However money is involved in a lot of decisions.
My ex wife liked buying gifts. Maybe that is part of her culture and part trying to buy favors. Also since she was not ever steadily employed maybe that contributed to her feeling of insecurity? How many couples have had a broken home because of unemployment?
Having work keeps you busy and when I broke my leg, I was not working for half a year. Sure my family helped out with some of our expenses but doesn't being unemployed cause a bit of stress? Or maybe staying home a lot causes a bit of stress?
Then there is the opposite side of the coin, too much money. People with a lot of money can buy a lot of things and do a lot of things. My working partner decided that it would be nice to go to a massage shop. It was a bad idea and I did not have the fortitude to say no.
Another thing is when you have money you tend to eat too well and gain weight.
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My ex wife and I know how to manage money. For example my father who let my mother manage money did pretty well. After my mother passed away, my father basically spent all his money. A fool and his money is soon parted. My ex wife is re married and thin now. I think her new life is doing pretty good and wish her well.
Basically I have funds and want for not too much. However I suppose my readers could tell me some financial horror stories and still have a good marriage.
Comments (20)
I agree that unemployment can lead to break up. Money can be stress ful. Having too much can also bring about its own problems.
@angys_coco - There is no polite way to ask, Were you accused of spending too much? I admit that I accused my ex of spending too much which comparison wise she spend pretty frugally.
Basically I know now that men just use that as an excuse. I mean that those gold diggers will only buy name brands and status symbols and stuff that is needed is never spending too much.
@PPhilip - Well no. Because I don't spend much or buy like that. In fact I would say, it is DH who would spend too much.
Money is a big one.
we never fight about money and i think that's a big part of the reason we've been married so long. money really can cause a lot of problems whether you have too little or too much or just enough.
My understanding is that financial problems are the number one cause for divorce. There is always more reasons than one. I made some money mistakes and turned the finances over to my wife 10 years into our marriage. She did a great job and we were debt free in 4 years.
i'd like to find out about the stress of having too much money.
Money is definitely a biggy in marriage.
that's good that you don't lack for things and can work things out with your ex. money can be a big problem in marriages.
@promisesunshine - Just look at the Kardassian marriage...Basically most Hollywood marriages have the financial stuff tied up before marriage. The Facebook guy was not stupid he basically has a lot of money.
@Big_Bang_Theory - No stating that you require allimony says that you are not punishing a spouse via monetary means. Most marriages that require alimony must mean the lawyer or the parties involved want to punish one side.
Still my ex wife did come around for more funds for the kids. Basically it was left up to me to determine if she was asking too much or not enough.
@LadyofWaters - Oh there are plans, but still at times you have to take extra work or get another job. I think if both spouses work the idle partner doesn't destroy the marriage or one side feels exploited.
I am not the best person to ask about financial planing. I have low goals.
@PPhilip - i have no desire to look at the kardassians.
@ANVRSADDAY - Besides your wife taking care of you financially, she looks out for you and is not a bad looker. Certainly you know things could be worse but fortunately for you it is not.
@promisesunshine - Yeah I know you are waiting for that windfall of big money so you can actually see how money would spoil you. Beware of your wishes, sometimes it comes true.
Looks like you're a pretty down to earth guy, fairly practical speaking who likes history. and a seemingly hodgepodge of random facts. You've been divorced, yet you don't seem to have bitter feelings anymore. You're around your 60's and you don't really care much for anesthetics or fashion trends.
thanks for sharing about your exp. w/ divorce btw.
@PPhilip - i think i'm in no danger of being spoiled by money. :)
yes, money matters can effect the balance in marital happiness, unfortunately.